I was sick to my stomach all the day before and the day of my scheduled abortion. I had already had one abortion years ago, and I was dreading another. My husband and I already have 4 children, and thought we could not handle another. I took my birth control pill religiously, so I was very surprised when I missed my menstrual cycle. It was a hard decision, but an easy one, since I already knew what to expect. Still, I struggled with the decision. My husband, though he didn’t believe in abortion, said it was my body so he was supportive of whatever decision I made. Both of us are employed, so finances were not a problem. Handling five kids would be a problem in my mind. However, having a Christian background, I prayed to God to send me a sign if He did not want me to have an abortion. I have had friends who have been in the same situation and they said they prayed and God sent a sign – so that is what I did.
I had never been to this clinic before, so I did not know what to expect. I did not expect to see a bunch of people holding signs saying pray to end abortion. I parked at the farthest end of the parking lot. A woman standing next to a blue van smiled at me and offered me free information for community resources. She said I may not need them now, but circumstances change and I may need them in the future. We chatted for a few minutes and she asked if I had children and I said yes. We talked about their ages and how busy I must be. She said also in the packet was information on a pill that is being used for abortions, and it would be good to educate myself on it; I may have a friend who could use the information and that the pill could be very dangerous.
When I opened the packet to find the brochure she was speaking of, I saw a picture of a baby on another brochure. She must have seen my face change, because she asked me if I was there for an abortion today, and I said yes. She asked me why I chose abortion, and I explained to her my situation. We talked some more and she said I could have a free ultrasound, (I did not know how far along I was). She said it was such an important decision, and I could always reschedule the appointment. I agreed and went inside the van. I took the pregnancy test and ultrasound and we ended up speaking for an hour. We talked about my situation and she made some suggestions about resources that were available for support and did I know about them – which I had not.
We talked about abortion and the impact it has on relationships. We talked about my abortion of years ago and how that impacted the relationship with my mother and sister and my relationship with God. I had been away from church for a long time and far from the Word of God. She pulled out a Bible and she had some scripture tagged. She asked me to read some of the verses. I can’t describe how reading those words cut my heart. It was like a knife, the pain was so real. We prayed after that and an appointment was made at the pregnancy center closest to me. My mother used to say that one more child just required one more potato in the pot. As I was leaving, we heard a cell phone ringing; it was hers. She smiled and said, “Oh! My little potatoes are Face-timing me.” She laughed and said those were her twin granddaughters. She did not take the call, but I told her about the thing my mom used to say about ‘one more potato in the pot’ and how interesting it was that she would call her ‘her little potatoes’. “What a coincidence,” I said. She said, “that’s no coincidence, that’s God.”
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