Putting God First in Singleness

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As youth leaders, my wife and I have many connections on social media with teens. As a result, we’ve read countless tales of young romance. From the high of “being in love” to the dread of “being single forever” (often just days or weeks in between each). For any of us, these emotional highs and lows can be a roller coaster of feelings – leaving us confused about dating, marriage, and family. Our remedy for this conflict may be to find a significant other – NOW! Tomorrow, next week, next year, or even next decade won’t suffice.

In this desperate state, singleness is suddenly not an option. As a result, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend becomes the supreme goal in life; even surpassing our relationship with Christ. The red flags should be waving at this point, because our relationship with Christ has now been compromised. If we’re honest though, we often ignore the warnings and prioritize our own emotions.


This selfish desire to place our needs first isn’t anything close to the love God shows us. If we’re not careful, our self seeking nature will exhaust us and leave us feeling empty, hurt, and betrayed by our own emotions. We may even question the goodness of long-term marital commitment.

If we’re married, single, or dating, what should we do? Ultimately the solution is found in the Bible. Mark 12:30 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” This passage tells us to love God with all our heart – not part of it. The word Lord in this passage, connotes authority similar to a king or queen in a monarchy. If God is truly placed first in our lives, all other priorities will naturally order themselves – including relationships. Whatever season you find yourself in, it is truly unique and ultimately should be used to glorify God.