A Voice Told me to Walk Away, but I Thought it was Too Late

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This story was shared with us via social media by Jill M.

My name is Jill and I am a 29 year old single mom. I made the worst choice of my life last April. I’ll never forget the day or night before my appointment. I spent hours talking and crying out to God for forgiveness and telling my baby how sorry I was.

I knew in my heart that it was wrong and totally against my morals, values, beliefs–all of it.

I cried on the way to meet with the “father” and on the way and into the clinic. I was the only woman crying in there from start to finish. I heard God’s voice telling me to get up and walk away, but I felt it was too late.

It wasn’t something that I wanted to do and I felt beyond horrible about it. I knew I would be messed up mentally and emotionally from it all. And I was right. 

I felt no relief like so many claim to feel. I was beyond distraught. I remember getting to my best friend’s empty apartment and screaming and crying my eyes out that afternoon. I was depressed for weeks and months, yet I had to be a parent to my 6-year-old daughter.

There were days when I couldn’t keep the pain inside. She would see me crying and ask what was wrong.

I know loss. My first born daughter, Naomi, was born at 28 weeks to severe preeclampsia and survived for 5 weeks. The pain of losing a child is indescribable and it stays with you forever.

This April she would be 8-years-old. I never thought I would be able to go on after losing my daughter. I was given my 6-year-old by the grace of God.

I know what life is like at every stage, even inside of the womb, and yet I went through with the worst thing imaginable. I allowed the father to threaten me. He told me if I chose adoption like I wanted to, he would have made my life a living hell.

I’ve been forgiven by the Lord, and saved by His Grace, but I can’t lie when I say there’s not a day that I don’t wish I hadn’t gone through with what I did.

This April 9th marked a year for me since I had the abortion and it still brings me great pain. Recently, I found a story on Twitter where I learned about Save the Storks mobile medical units and I couldn’t pass it by.

I now want to use my story to help other women make a decision for life!

If you have a story to share, email [email protected].

Save the Storks
Save the Storks
Save the Storks exists to partner with pregnancy resource centers and give abortion-vulnerable women a choice that will change their lives forever. We partner with pregnancy resource centers all over the nation, providing them with powerful tools and training to more effectively connect with those women in their communities. With the support of people like you, we have built over 50 Stork Buses that reach women near abortion clinics, on college campuses, in rural areas and inner cities. And here’s a statistic you’ll want to share with friends and family: four out of five women who board a Stork Bus, see their baby on the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat, choose life.