A Voice Told me to Walk Away, but I Thought it was Too Late

This story was shared with us via social media by Jill M.

My name is Jill and I am a 29 year old single mom. I made the worst choice of my life last April. I’ll never forget the day or night before my appointment. I spent hours talking and crying out to God for forgiveness and telling my baby how sorry I was.

I knew in my heart that it was wrong and totally against my morals, values, beliefs–all of it.

I cried on the way to meet with the “father” and on the way and into the clinic. I was the only woman crying in there from start to finish. I heard God’s voice telling me to get up and walk away, but I felt it was too late.

It wasn’t something that I wanted to do and I felt beyond horrible about it. I knew I would be messed up mentally and emotionally from it all. And I was right. 

I felt no relief like so many claim to feel. I was beyond distraught. I remember getting to my best friend’s empty apartment and screaming and crying my eyes out that afternoon. I was depressed for weeks and months, yet I had to be a parent to my 6-year-old daughter.

There were days when I couldn’t keep the pain inside. She would see me crying and ask what was wrong.

I know loss. My first born daughter, Naomi, was born at 28 weeks to severe preeclampsia and survived for 5 weeks. The pain of losing a child is indescribable and it stays with you forever.

This April she would be 8-years-old. I never thought I would be able to go on after losing my daughter. I was given my 6-year-old by the grace of God.

I know what life is like at every stage, even inside of the womb, and yet I went through with the worst thing imaginable. I allowed the father to threaten me. He told me if I chose adoption like I wanted to, he would have made my life a living hell.

I’ve been forgiven by the Lord, and saved by His Grace, but I can’t lie when I say there’s not a day that I don’t wish I hadn’t gone through with what I did.

This April 9th marked a year for me since I had the abortion and it still brings me great pain. Recently, I found a story on Twitter where I learned about Save the Storks mobile medical units and I couldn’t pass it by.

I now want to use my story to help other women make a decision for life!

If you have a story to share, email mystory@savethestorks.com.