I have always known in my heart that I was meant to have children through adoption. I loved everything baby from the time I was a baby and nurturing has always been my love language. It didn’t matter if it was a neighbor’s baby who I babysat for, an orphaned lamb who needed me to bottle feed it, or being a nanny to two precious girls. I loved them all as my own and they were all pieces to the puzzle that brought me to adopting.
Before we were even married I told Fil that someday I wanted to adopt, I wasn’t sure at what point in our life it would be time, but I know it was part of our plan as a family and that God would show us when.
About a year and a half after getting married I became pregnant with our oldest son Noah. When Noah was about three Fil and I started talking about having another baby. I wanted my children spaced apart a little bit but now that Noah was getting more independent I was ready for baby number two.
We discussed trying to conceive again for several months but my heart just kept being pulled to adoption. I could feel God calling to me to take the leap, telling me that now was the time to adopt.
Adoption talk was hard for Fil in the beginning, he was not as confident in the fact that everything would work out—it was all out of our control and new scary territory. I wanted this to be 100% a decision we made together for our family though, so we researched and talked and prayed for several months.
After lots of prayer and consideration we both felt ready and on our six year wedding anniversary we signed the papers to start our adoption process.
Things seemed to be moving so quickly, and yet in slow motion, all at the same time. As we signed papers, sent in pictures and forms, and went through all the legalities of the process, I just kept hanging onto that moment when we would hear those few precious words—“You’ve been matched.”
Those are some of the most powerful words an adopting parent will hear and we were blessed with them in November of 2012 just weeks after signing with our agency.
This was extremely fast and so exciting. Then came the waiting for her to be born, which was incredibly hard, I had no idea the feelings I would have now knowing that my baby was somewhere else, thousands of miles away. and I could do nothing to keep her safe and healthy until she was born.
It was a very hard time for me but also a huge time of growth that changed me for the better in so many ways. My faith grew so much during this time and I learned to completely rely on God—that he was watching over and caring for her and that His will would be done, whatever that was.
After several months of waiting, Miss Libby arrived and I got to be in the hospital room right along side her birth mama. It was such an amazing experience that I will never forget or take for granted.
Giving birth to a baby and then placing her in the hands of another woman is one of the hardest and most selfless things anyone could do.
I have incredible respect for birth mothers for choosing life for their babies—a life they will likely never even know.
The next few days after Libby was born were some of the hardest of my life.
There was so much uncertainty and her mother struggled with the decision to place Libby for adoption. My heart was breaking from all sides during that time, but I trusted that God’s will would be done. When Libby’s birth mother finally signed I knew for sure that she was meant to be ours forever.
Everyone’s adoption process is different, but one thing is for sure, the blessing in the end is beyond what you could ever imagine and the things that you go through help change and grow you to be a stronger and better person which I am so thankful for.
It is hard to open up and share these parts of our story, to be raw and vulnerable, but I want to share so much so that others can be encouraged to chase their adoption dreams and hold on until their baby is in their arms.
Adoption is far from easy but it is truly an amazing blessing.
This story was written by Lindsey Bonnice.
