All of the Reasons I Wasn’t Ready to be a Mom

 The following story comes from Pregnancy Center of the North Coast in Eureka, CA.

My name is Jemmy and I am about to be twenty years old. I have a serious boyfriend and a stable job, but when I found out I was pregnant, I decided I was not ready to be a mom.

Moms had experience. I hadn’t even gone to college. Moms were responsible. I could barely take care of myself. Moms didn’t have any fun. Weren’t my twenties supposed to be the best years of my life?

We always wanted kids, but not right now. We just weren’t ready to take all of that on.

I felt like having an abortion was the only way to have the life I had always imagined for myself. Having an abortion would help me get my life together before we had kids. Having an abortion would make everything easier. For me. For us. Right?

When I heard that there was a mobile unit nearby that offered free ultrasounds, I decided I would at least go to see how far along I was. I timidly walked into the bus, not knowing what to expect. A million questions were running through my headWhat would our baby look like? Was it a boy or a girl? What would it be good at? What could it do in its lifetime?

I was immediately greeted with the warmth and kindness of the nurse and counselor. They sat me down to perform the ultrasound. She pointed out the little heartbeat of the six week embryo and, through tears, I asked, “Is that my baby?” Of course it was! My fear was replaced with joy as I stammered in amazement at the little being we had created.

I realized then that my view of what a good mom looked like didn’t really matter… I was already a mom and that was my child. I can’t wait to learn the answers to all my questions about the baby. I know it will be someone special.

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