my Adoption story
I was adopted at five months from China by amazing Christian parents. My father was in the business world and my mother was a classically trained pianist. They first learned about adoption from one of my mom’s friends, who had adopted three children from South Korea. After much prayer and paperwork, they set out to adopt me!
I was adopted on June 21, 1995, and right after, we moved to Singapore for my dad’s job. It wasn’t until around my first birthday that we traveled back to the States, and I met the rest of my extended family. My dad is one of seven children, making me the 17th grandchild on that side. And my mom is one of three. I was the first granddaughter on that side. Even though I joined a large family, like most only children, I wanted a sibling. After three years of me begging for a younger sister, they adopted my sister, who was also from China, but from a different biological family. She was 10 months old.
As a young child in Singapore, before international adoption was prominent, many people asked about me and my parents. They didn’t understand why or how a white couple from America could have a Chinese baby. But, my parents, as gracious as they are, used these moments as a time to explain adoption. They also used this as a prime example to explain how we are also adopted into the family of Christ.
In 2000 we moved back to the States so that we could be closer to our extended family. Again, because adoption wasn’t very prominent yet, or because children my age didn’t know what adoption was, a lot of my classmates didn’t understand. They would ask questions like, “so are they your real parents?”,” Is she your real sister?”, “Do you still live with your adopted parents?”. As an elementary and middle schooler, these questions were sometimes frustrating and difficult to answer. Of course, they were my REAL parents and sister, and of course I still live with them. But I tried to take it all in stride and use it as an opportunity to educate and tell them about adoption:
“They aren’t my biological parents and sister, but they are my real family”
I’ve never really struggled with being adopted. As children, my sister and I would celebrate our adoption days with cake. Almost like a birthday, but without presents. As a senior in college, I went on a missions trip and served at an orphanage in Peru. Being there and connecting with the children was an amazing experience. But, when I came back, I had a small glimmer of “what if…” – what if my birth mom didn’t really want me? What if she was glad to get rid of me? I had always operated under the assumption that she did, but because of the one child policy, she couldn’t keep me. BUT, by the grace of God, those thoughts didn’t linger for too long, and I quickly realized that all those things might be true, but what really matters is that I have a family that does love me and that does want me.
Because of how close I am to my family; I’ve personally never had the desire to find my birth mom. However, if I ever did meet her, I’d express my gratitude that she chose life for me and left me in a place where someone who could help me found me – that she gave me a chance at having a family that loves and cares for me in a way that she wasn’t able to when she had me.
Today, I live states away from my family, which is difficult, but we’re just as close as ever and enjoy keeping up via video chat and visits. In May 2020, I got married and my husband joined our family, and I gained more family members in my in-laws; I love that my family has gotten even bigger, and hopefully it will continue to grow as nieces, nephews, and our own kids are added one day. It’s crazy and amazing to think all of this is possible because one woman said “yes” to the option of adoption. My prayer for any woman in an unintended pregnancy or who feels overwhelmed at the thought of raising a child is that she would consider adoption. It’s what gave me a loving and caring family, and a life that I couldn’t be more blessed to have.