WHEN MY ADOPTION JOURNEY BEGAN, I was in college, enjoying the typical college life and spending several of those first months partying and making friends. I knew that at some point, I would have to get a job and be more serious about college. I ended up getting hired for a typical sales position at Dillard’s Department Store, working in the children’s clothing section. I loved seeing all the toddlers and the baby clothes, and it made me excited to think that one day I could start a family of my own. 

  It wasn’t long before I stopped partying and began getting my life together; it felt like a natural progression. Everything began shaping up naturally for me when, one day at work, it hit me: “Maybe I’m pregnant.” Nervously, I purchased a pregnancy test from the local drugstore, and to my shock, it was positive. I had no idea what to do, and most importantly, “What would my parents think?” 

  Thoughts raced through my mind as I started to envision the future. “Should I marry the guy?” No, I couldn’t see that working. Desperate for a quick fix, I turned to the only option I thought I had—abortion. 

  A friend I confided in about my pregnancy knew how much I was struggling and, without telling me, went to my mom. That night, my mom approached me and asked what was going on, explaining that she had spoken to my friend. The secret was out. I broke down in tears, pouring out everything I had been hiding. A sense of relief washed over me, knowing I no longer had to carry the burden alone. That night, my mom mentioned adoption for the first time. 

“Adoption?” I couldn’t fathom it, but in all honesty, I didn’t really know much about it.

  What I did know was that the very idea made me angry. I couldn’t fathom the idea of being pregnant for 9 months, only to find a family to raise my child. I was infuriated and confused. Over the next few days, that was all I could think about, and the more I considered it, the more peace I felt in my heart. 

By the week’s end, I had all but made up my mind, “I am going to choose adoption.”

  Over the next few months, my pregnancy became more and more obvious to everyone. People even tried to convince me not to go through with my decision to adopt. I had to get away, so I decided to move out of my parents’ house. 

  The day I started packing was the day I finally told my father about being pregnant. I simply couldn’t bear hiding it from him anymore. “If he hates me, he hates me,” I thought. But to my amazement, he was so kind and comforting. He told me how upsetting it was to know that I’d been going through this alone and that he was sorry I felt like I couldn’t come to him with this. 

It comforted me knowing I had his support.

  Time passed, and I got connected with an adoption agency. An adoption counselor guided me through the process, explained the options available to me, and offered me the chance to attend a birthmother’s retreat. 

It just felt right to me. I couldn’t imagine not knowing how my daughter was doing or being able to tell her that I loved her. After going through profiles and pictures of couples looking to adopt, one couple stood out more than the others, giving me that peace again. I showed my parents, and they agreed that they were the right couple. 

  A couple of months later, I had my daughter, Kaylee. We had a dedication ceremony for her along with her new family, which really helped me with the transition. Everything felt right, and I saw God’s hand orchestrating the entire process. 

I still have frequent contact with my daughter, Kaylee, because even though I chose adoption for her, I am still her mom.

  We recently had a visit with Kaylee and her parents, where she met my husband and my two children. I cherish that connection and look forward to many more fun visits and watching her grow into a beautiful young lady who will soon be embarking on her college journey. 

  My passion is helping others who are considering adoption, viewing it as a blessing, and encouraging them to trust their hearts and the voice that guides them to choose life. After all, a mother is a mother, regardless of what her journey looks like.

Life’s About Choice